What You (Actually) Need When Baby Arrives

If you're anything like me (and I'm under the impression that there are a few people who are) you might find that shopping for your first child is a little overwhelming. And by "a little," I mean, "the-life-of-your-child-depends-on-your-ability-to-figure-this-out."

No pressure.

Registering for baby things was probably one of the most confusing things I had ever done (before Baby was born, of course).
It's not enough that you need to pick things out for your baby; you have to pick the right things. And there are about 500 options for each item, and 20 people who have a lot of conflicting advice to give you about each of those items.

While pregnant with my daughter, I looked up countless articles trying to desperately find a list for what I actually needed when this baby was going to arrive!
Apparently, you need a lamb with a heartbeat, and a wipe warmer, and a magical baby swing that will ensure your little one never cries, ever.

It's funny how we can convince ourselves that our luxuries are necessities!

Upon planning for our second child and getting questions from some expectant mamas, I came up with a condensed list of what I found to be the bare necessities to have available when baby arrives. This isn't totally comprehensive- you'll also need a crib, eventually, and some toys, books, and other things.
But when baby first arrives, you just need the essentials to get by. You can fill in the holes later.

And so, in hopes that this will give some direction to any mamas-to-be lost somewhere in the five isles of pack-n-plays, here is my list of what you really need when baby arrives.

Big-ticket items

Baby Wrap

One of my favorite baby accessories was my baby wrap. Oh, how many screaming fits and needy moments that thing got us through! Although it was wonderful for the early newborn days to be able to have Baby Girl on my body all the time, it has continued to be great even now, a year later. I absolutely consider this a necessity, not only for the reason that it helps the mama get things done, but more importantly that it keeps your baby close to you and on your body, which is so important to your baby’s psychological and physical health!
I got a hand-me-down Moby Wrap. I would absolutely recommend the Moby to anyone who wants a versatile, stretchy wrap that can grow with your baby. I’ve heard great things about other wraps too, so do your research and find one that fits you and your climate.
The downside to the Moby is that it is very, very hot and doesn’t breathe well, so it’s not a fun thing to wear on a walk in the summer (although I liked it so much that I did that anyway).
This article is a good overview of the different type of wraps you will see and the pros and cons of each.
Make sure you look into the safety of any wrap or carrier you get. Certain ones are not good for the baby’s back or posture. Additionally, there are good and bad ways to wear your baby, even in a great carrier. This article is a great resource for anyone wanting to know more about how to correctly support an infant’s spine.

Stroller

Even if you will be carrying baby in a wrap or carrier most of the time, you will need a stroller for certain times. You will definitely need it as the baby gets bigger, when carrying them is not quite as easy as it used to be! Our stroller was also a hand-me-down, so I don’t have a lot of advice to give about them. As far as I’m concerned, the biggest must-haves on the stroller checklist is safety, quality and portability.

Car Seat

Of course, you need a car seat. Shopping for a car seat is beyond overwhelming, but I’ve found the best resource to be nhtsa.gov . You can also take your car seat in to your local fire station, and they will let you know if it’s up to the current safety standards!

Co-sleeper/bassinet/etc...

Some people will disagree with me here, but for us, having something aside from the baby’s crib was absolutely necessary. We co-slept with our daughter for a little while, alternating between her sleeping in our bed and in the bassinet next to me, until she started having trouble sleeping in the room with us. At that point, she moved into her room very smoothly; it was the right time for her and for us.
But those first few weeks, when I was up every two hours (or more) around the clock, the last thing I wanted was to get my very sore body out of bed and walk across the apartment to go feed the baby. It was also really comforting for me to be able to hear her breathing and to be able to touch her and comfort her as soon as she stirred. Nursing was much simpler with her so close; I could read her hunger cues immediately, instead of waiting until she began crying. Babies were meant to be nearby...especially those tiny newborns! Look for something that meets your family’s needs. A hand-me-down bassinet did it for us.

Space heater

The temperature in your home needs to stay between 70 and 75 degrees at all times for your newborn for those first few weeks, so either prepare to have the thermostat that high, or just heat wherever the baby is with a space heater. I recommend one that has an accurate temperature gauge. Our apartment was poorly heated, so we brought a space heater into our bedroom and kept the temperature high for our daughter. The downside to this is that while your baby needs it nice and toasty, you will be experiencing some lovely postpartum hot flashes. Oh, the sacrifices. 

Nursing Essentials

Breast Pump

Before I had my daughter, I thought that a breast pump was more of a luxury than a necessity. As it turned out, it was an absolute necessity for my daughter and I, as she had a tongue-tie and was not able to latch for the first couple of weeks. I was exclusively pumping for a while, until the issue was resolved, so the pump suddenly became a must-have! Even without our unique situation, though, the pump has been something I’ve needed along the way. Date nights wouldn’t have happened without it!
In my opinion, a double electric Medela is the way to go. Medela makes some great pumps that mimic the way a baby actually latches, which helps pumping go smoother. A pump is a big investment, but it is something that is worth investing in, if you can put the money towards it.

Note after baby #2: I got a single electric Medela and do NOT recommend it. It took forever, had a bad latch, malfunctioned many times, and was hard to let down to.

Bottles

Bottle shopping is overwhelming.
“Pick this bottle! It’s recommended by a doctor!”
“No, this one! It’s shaped like a boob!”
“You have to pick this one! It will make your baby a genius!”
I mean, really.
I think registering for bottles was one of my least favorite parts of the whole baby-shopping experience. When it came down to it, we ended up getting Tommy Tippee for our daughter, only to realize later on that it was the wrong fit for her. Tommy Tippee bottles are are great later, when the baby can handle a stronger flow. But even their smallest “slow-flow” nipple is too fast for a newborn.
This is a common problem with bottle-fed babies- the baby chugs the milk (because the milk is flowing so fast- it’s either drink or drown), causing them to be too full and become very fussy. This, in turn, can cause parents to think that baby is not getting enough, to feed them more, and so the overfeeding cycle begins.
Our tiny little 6 pounder guzzled 5 ounces of pumped breast milk from the Tommy Tippee bottle! As it turned out, she wasn’t needing nearly that much- and she certainly wasn’t needing more! What she needed was a slower flowing nipple, so that she could control how much she was getting, causing her to drink slower and regulate how much she actually got. This prevents overfeeding.
The bottle my lactation consultant recommended, and I now highly recommend, is the Evenflo Vent-Air. It has a slow-flow nipple that is ideal for newborns. You don’t need to buy different nipples for different ages.
For the record, your nipples don’t change as the baby gets older. Your baby’s bottles don’t need to do that either!
The amount of bottles you need is entirely up to your own personal needs. We did fine with one bottle. Two would have been nice, and more would be necessary if you need to exclusively bottle feed for any length of time.

Breast milk storage bags

I liked Lansinoh here, but there are plenty of good brands. Of course, the amount of these will depend on how much you will be pumping.

Pacifiers

You may or may not need a pacifier, but it’s nice to have a couple around just in case. Our daughter took one for the first few months, then refused it until she was around 8 months old, and then took it again. She was very particular about which kinds she liked. Right now, she loves the gummy pacis. I would recommend, if you do plan to introduce a pacifier, to have a couple different types available, because each baby has their own preference, and you won’t really know what that is until you try them out!

TONS of spit up rags

Tons.
You will think you have enough, and then you will find yourself wondering why you only bought  a thousand of them.  
What were you thinking??
We just got a bunch of packs of Gerber cloth diapers- the basic white ones from Target- and used those. You can use whatever, but you'll use them around the clock with a newborn, so have them on hand.
The nice thing about these is that it really doesn’t matter how cheap they are. As long as they’re soft enough to use on newborn skin (i.e. not kitchen rags), they’ll work. They don’t need to be super trendy or fuzzy, and they don’t need to match your baby’s designer booties. In fact, I really don’t advise getting cute ones at all, because they’ll probably end up stained in orange poop at one time or another. It’s just bound to happen.

Boppy or other nursing pillow

Nursing is really clumsy at first. You’re trying to juggle this floppy little newborn in one hand while trying to unclasp your nursing bra with the other and pull your breast out before the little one gets too impatient, and things are just messy. It gets easier later- I promise!
And at some point, you won’t really need a pillow. But in those first nursing months, you’re going to need something to support your arms and baby while you’re figuring things out. It also helps you not hunch over so badly, I found, because the baby is sitting closer to you and you don’t need to strain.
I really like my Boppy, but I know there are also some other great nursing pillows out there. Find one you like, and don’t forget to get a couple of covers, because these, too, will be subject to an assortment of bodily fluids -both from your darling baby and from your new leaky boobs. Awesome.


Nursing Pads

 Speaking of leaky boobs, I somehow missed the heads-up that getting my milk in would turn me into a human Niagara Falls. Not everyone has such an abundant oversupply of milk, so you may not have the issue of leaking at all times, day and night. But you will almost certainly leak while you are nursing in the very beginning- because when the babe latches to one side, the other side gets going too. So you’ll need some good nursing pads to help yourself out.
This doesn’t last the entire time you are nursing, but it does last for at least a couple of months. For me, it lasted about four months. I went through a lot of nursing pads.
I recommend Lansinoh for these too, as they pull the milk away from your skin, which helps prevent clogged pores. If you can get the big pack, do it. It may take you a couple of weeks to go through it, like me, or it may last your entire “leaky boob” phase. Either way, it’s a better deal.

Nursing Bra

The most important thing about shopping for your nursing bra is making sure that it will stretch and shrink very easily, because while your breasts are still adjusting to the amount of milk your baby needs, you will be changing sizes dramatically every few hours. Every time your milk lets down, you will fill out your bra more than you ever dreamed (sounds great, but not as exciting as I imagined it to be), and every time your baby eats, you will drain and have no integrity left in the poor things. This evens out eventually too, after months of nursing. But for the first few months, you definitely want to get one or two very stretchy, comfortable (wireless, I advise) nursing bras that will hold up to the abuse they will surely endure. I got one at Target for around $15, and it lasted the journey.

Nursing shirts/camis

You would think that it would be simple enough to have a nursing bra, but you’re really going to want a couple of nursing tops, too. You could just use open-front or low-cut shirts, but I found that I either had to expose my post-partum belly to the world (which I was not happy to do), or I ended up stretching out and ruining the neckline to my shirts. Nursing shirts either have stretchy necklines made for opening, or clasps like nursing bras. I would recommend getting something you can wear around the house or out and about- like a couple of basic nursing camisoles that you can layer with a cardigan for going out. I got mine at Target, but I know Old Navy has some cheap options, too.

Changing Essentials

 

Something to change baby on for your room

You're going to have so many middle-of-the-night changings in the beginning, you'll start to wonder how this tiny child could possibly produce so much poop and pee.
So it's nice to have a pad to put down, so you don't have to leave your room. We had a hand-me-down portable changing table pad that worked well for us. You could also just move the nursery changing table into your room for the time being. It’s better than using your bed- trust me.

Diaper pail
You do need a diaper pail. You may get by for a little while without one, so if you must wait, you can. But the beauty of the diaper pail is that, with it, those stinky little diapers won't require you to take out the trash twice a day. This will be more of a necessity later on, rather than right away, but it will be a necessity. We liked the Diaper Dekor; I know it's not the only good one out there, though, so look around and see what fits your needs best.

LOTS of diapers

You will likely go through 15-20 diapers a day for a few weeks, so stock up. Newborns pee and poop around the clock! Some more than others.
We wanted to do cloth diapers, but found it too exhausting for that first time period. We didn’t have the energy, honestly, and our daughter was so tiny that we really needed smaller diapers for her, which we couldn’t afford to go buy. So we went with disposable until she got a little bigger and started pooping less than 17 times a day.
We had gotten Seventh Generation diapers for her (as we wanted to have all-natural diapers), and realized that they, too, were too big for her tiny body! So we used Huggies Newborn diapers until she could fit into the Seventh Generation better- for some reason, they are a little smaller and fit much more snugly.

LOTS of wipes

The key to wipes is to have the most gentle (and natural!) option available. Newborn skin is ridiculously sensitive, so the more gentle the wipes, the better. You can make your own wipes from baby wash and coconut oil, if you want, which we did later on down the road (great tutorial here). We used Seventh Generation in the beginning, and I really love them. We never had any breakouts or rashes from any of Seventh Generation’s products.

Baby Care

Unrefined Extra virgin coconut oil

You can use this for practically anything- cradle cap, baby acne, dry newborn skin, lotion, cracked nipples, diaper rash, other rashes, low SPF sunscreen, etc...
Really, this stuff is only second to breast milk in its magical properties.
Just make sure you’re getting the good stuff. Refined coconut oil will not work. The higher quality, the better. It is expensive, but completely worth the investment.

Really gentle shampoo

I also love Seventh Generation’s baby wash. You don't really need to do much but water off baby’s head and bum for a few weeks, but when you do need to give them a bath, this is nice to have around. One bottle of Seventh Generation baby wash lasted us a little under a year.

Baby bath

I didn’t think a baby bath was a necessity, so I didn’t even register for one! Thankfully,  someone gave us one at our baby shower, and I am so glad they did. As our daughter grew older, we stopped using it, but it was such a help during the floppy days, when you really need as much help as you can get while trying to wash your little wiggly one. The mesh recliner was so helpful to me, because I could let her lay on that while I used both hands to wash her, instead of having to hold her with one hand and juggle the bath things with the other.

Note after baby #2: the mesh recliner came in handy again when bathing both kids in one tub- baby on the recliner and toddler next to her. Bonus!

Thermometer

It's good in the first few days of baby's life to routinely check their temperature. You will need to know their own unique base body temperature so that you can catch a problem early. A rectal thermometer is most accurate. I still get a little jittery about those, but if you can handle them fine, that's the best option!

Clothes

Onesies

The amount of onesies you need will very much depend on your situation- especially your climate and what season your baby will be born during. I would say to aim for 6-8 onesies in whatever style (long-sleeved, short sleeved, etc) fits your situation best. Remember that newborns grow fast, so I wouldn’t invest in a ton of newborn clothes. Basics are really helpful, but you probably won’t go through even half of the “specialty” clothes before the baby has grown too large for them!

Jammies

Button down jammies got to be a real headache in the middle of the night, so I really wouldn’t recommend those. We had a couple of zipper sets that we liked more, but I also heard a recommendation today for the nightgowns with elastic at the bottom, which sounds like a great idea to me! I think I’ll get a few for our next little one and see how we like those!

Note: Open bottomed nightgowns it is. Only buy these, and never look back.

Socks

They wont stay on. It's good to have, though, to keep them warm. Target carries a kind that is really stretchy and fuzzy, and those have been the most successful in staying on those tiny feet.

Hats

You don’t need many hats, but one or two is a good thing to have around, especially if you have a cold weather babe!

Blankets

There are so many different kinds of blankets, and I don’t really believe there’s a “perfect” one out there! Some babies love being swaddled, so swaddling blankets work wonderfully for them. My daughter, on the other hand, hated being swaddled. We used receiving blankets and other soft blankets to gently wrap her up. Be forewarned, though, that you will need several of each kind, because there will be poop, and there will be spit-up, and there will be plenty of it. I would get five to ten blankets to be comfortable, but no less than three. Unless you like re-doing the same laundry every day, I suppose.

Note after baby #2: Second Child loved to be swaddled, and we LOVED muslin swaddling blankets for her. They are very stretchy and hold baby in tight, but don't overheat easily. You can spend a bunch of money and get the name-brand ones, but I got some from an Etsy shop for MUCH cheaper, and I loved them!



Do you have any recommendations for things you couldn't have gone without for your newborn? Leave a comment and let me know!