Guilt-Free Banana Bread

(gluten-free, refined sugar free, can be dairy free)

I love banana bread. It's one of my comfort foods of choice.
Perfect for breakfast, sweet enough for dessert...it’s all around just a good thing.
Except that usually, it’s full of a lot of not good things, like white flour, vegetable oil, refined sugar, and so on.
Unless of course, you get around that, and create something that’s more like a real bread and less like a post-breakup-meltdown-indulgence.

I found this recipe a few years ago when I was looking for a gluten-free banana bread recipe. It turned out great, but it still had quite a few things that, now, as I’ve refined my diet quite a bit, I don’t want to be cooking with.

So, this recipe was born- just a healthier, guiltless, but still really delicious version of the original. No gluten, no refined sugar, and only healthy fats.

The thing I love most about this is that, unlike a lot of other gluten-free breads, this banana bread is moist and dense- not at all crumbly or grainy. It’s also naturally sweetened from the honey, applesauce and bananas, but the sweetness isn’t so overwhelming as it can be in banana breads sometimes.

I’m pretty picky about my bread. This one passes the test!

Guilt-Free Banana Bread

Dry:
2 cups all-purpose gluten-free flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt

Wet:
2 cups mashed ripe bananas
1/2 cup organic applesauce
3/4 cup raw honey
1 tsp vanilla
4 eggs, whisked
1/3 cup grass-fed butter, softened (you can sub coconut oil)

Preheat oven to 350ºF.
Grease a loaf pan with butter or coconut oil and set aside.

In a standing mixer, combine flour, baking soda and salt. Set aside.

In a large bowl, mash bananas until very creamy, but not completely smooth (you want a few lumps in there!). Add applesauce, honey, vanilla and whisked eggs and stir. Add in softened butter and mix well.

Pour wet ingredients into the standing mixer, and turn mixer on low to stir. Once the dry ingredients have blended with the wet a little, turn the mixer higher and beat until the batter is mostly smooth.

[You can stir in walnuts or chocolate chips here if you so desire. I’m not fond of chunks in my banana bread, so I did without.]

Pour batter into the greased loaf pan.
The batter should fill up 1/2 to 3/4 of the pan at most. If you have extra batter, you can make a couple of banana bread muffins by pouring it into cupcake tins.

[Here, my pregnancy cravings got the best of me, and I threw together a streusel topping out of brown sugar, whole oats and butter. I’m not including this for two reasons- it kind of  defeats the purpose of making it healthy, and I have no idea how much of any ingredient I used anyway.] 

Bake for 45-55 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the bread comes out clean.

Let stand at room temperature. This is great warm or refrigerated, but I love it most at room temperature. Store in an airtight container and enjoy at your leisure. :)

10 Things Not to Say to a Pregnant Woman

1. “You’re so big!”

Variations: “Look how big you’re getting!” / “Are you sure there aren’t twins in there?” / “Are you sure you’re only ___ months pregnant?”

This is usually said with good intentions. After all, aren’t those pregnant bellies just so cute? But when you say “big,” she hears, “the first thing I notice about you is how huge you are now.” Yes, she’s sure there’s only one baby in there, and yes, she knows how many months pregnant she is. Leave those questions at the door.
To be fair, not all women are offended by being told they look "very pregnant." Because some women (myself included) enjoy having a belly to show during pregnancy!
Your problem? You don’t know ahead of time whether she wants to look pregnant or not. It’s not worth the risk, so just steer clear.  

Safer alternatives: “You look beautiful!” / “Pregnancy looks great on you!” / “You look great as always!” / “You make such a cute pregnant lady!”

2. “You’re so small!”

Variations: “You’re tiny!” / “You barely look pregnant!” / “You’re not even showing!” / “You’re not big enough to be ___ months pregnant!”

Ah, the twin sister to “you’re so big.” Again, almost always meant to be flattering, but falling short due to the oversight that not every woman wants to look “tiny” while pregnant. Sure, I’ve never met a woman who would want to be told that she’s roughly the size of a whale. But to be told that you barely look pregnant (or don’t look pregnant at all) can be really frustrating.
It’s especially irritating when she knows she looks at least marginally pregnant- because you are either knowingly lying, or you are implying that she doesn’t look pregnant at all (leaving looking fat as the alternative).
Since, again, you don’t know whether she wants to look pregnant or not, you are treading on dangerous water.

Safer alternative: See above.

3. “Are you pregnant?”

If you have to ask this question, you should not be asking this question. If the answer is yes, and she wasn’t ready to spill the news yet, you’ve just forced her into announcing before she was ready. If the answer is no, you’ve just contracted a serious case of foot-in-mouth. And then there’s the chance that she is pregnant and could be hurt that you don’t think she looks pregnant (read: you look fat, but not definitively pregnant). Any way you spin it, it’s just a dangerous question. Avoid at all costs.

Safer alternative: Wait until she mentions her pregnancy, or say nothing at all.

4. “Boy, you’ve gotten fat!”

Variations: “Really packing on the pounds there! / “You really are eating for two!”

It might sound ridiculous, but people actually stay stuff like this. In my case, it’s always been said to me as a joke. A really, really tasteless joke. I imagine that people say things like this in seriousness too, but does it really matter? It’s hurtful and rude no matter the intention. As a rule of thumb, just don’t joke about a pregnant woman’s size. Don’t relate her size to any kind of animal or large objects. Don’t jokingly tell her she’s big. Don’t mention what she’s eating or how much she’s eating. Keep it to yourself and make the world a better place.

Safer alternative: I recommend you do not speak if these are things you are wanting to say. Resume speaking when these types of jokes no longer tempt you.

5. “How much weight have you gained?”

I’m not sure why this is such a fun question to ask pregnant mamas, because at no other time in your life is that really an acceptable question to be asked. Unless you are her doctor, best friend or mother, just don’t ask this question (and I say mother hesitantly, because while my mother is allowed to ask me this, I know plenty of women would not agree with me).
Pregnancy opens the door for many insecurities. If she hasn't gained "enough" weight, someone will tell her that her baby isn't going to be healthy. If she has gained "too much" weight, someone will tell her that it will be next to impossible to lose. Be understanding of her sensitivity over her ever-changing body, and leave this question off the table completely.

Safer alternative: “How are you feeling?” / “Are you enjoying your pregnancy?”

6. “When is that baby going to come?”

Variations: “You look like you’re ready to pop!” / “Aren’t you due already?” / “Why isn’t that baby here yet?”

You would think these questions would only come after Baby’s due date, but I actually heard a few of them several weeks before I was due with my first baby. Go figure.

“Well, the baby will come when she’s ready...and when she’s not going to be premature...”

The closer a pregnant woman comes to her due date, the more dangerous this question becomes. If you think you’re antsy for her baby to arrive, imagine how she feels! She can’t make the baby come any sooner, so just don’t ask. The later her baby is, the more aggravating this question will likely be to her.
There’s also the risk that, if you don’t know her well, you may say this far before her due date, implying that she is looking abnormally large. Not an implication you should want to make!

Safer alternative: “You must be so excited for Baby to come!”

7. “Was it planned?”

Variations: “Were you trying?” / “Was it an accident?”

Again, this type of question is acceptable only in very specific relationships. If you’re not sure that you have that type of relationship, error on the side of safety and don’t ask. If you’re sure you have that type of relationship, take a second and make sure you’re right. Because this question can very easily translate to “was your baby a mistake?” And while that is sometimes the true judgmental undertone of the question, often times that is not at all what it was intended to mean.

Safer alternative: “You must be so excited!” / “I am so happy for you!”

8. “Enjoy your sleep, because you’ll never sleep again.”

Variations: "You're going to have your hands full" / "Go on dates now, because you'll never have time once the baby comes"

Not only is this a disheartening thing to say to a new mom, but it’s not even necessarily true. Unless you willingly throw your entire life and marriage out the window when your baby is born, everything will eventually go back to normal. And the things that don’t go back to the way they were before will find their way into a new normal, and you will make it work.
Even if your marriage/sex life/free time/sleep didn’t turn out the way you wanted it to, it does not mean that is how it will be for her. It's not fair to put those kind of things on someone else.

Safer alternative: Be encouraging instead of negative. Think of all of the wonderful things about having a baby, and talk about those instead.

9. “I hope you have luck with [insert pregnancy/labor situation], because [insert personal horror story].”

This is another example of My-Experience-Will-Be-Yours Syndrome. Because you had an emergency C-section, she shouldn’t risk having a home birth. Because you had terrible morning sickness, she will have it too. Because you didn’t go into labor until you were 42 weeks pregnant, she’ll probably have to be induced.
If you’re tempted to tell your pregnancy or labor horror story, stop yourself. Just because you had a bad experience does not mean she will too. It's not fair to give her negative expectations based on something that she doesn't even necessarily need to think about. If you must tell a personal anecdote, tell an encouraging one instead.

Safer alternative: “I’m sure you will have a great pregnancy/birth- you are so strong.” / “I know you’re well-read; you will be prepared no matter what comes your way!”

10. “Already?”

Variations: “Finally!” / “Again?”

Whether you are implying that she shouldn’t be pregnant yet, that she should have been pregnant a long time ago, that she shouldn’t have gotten pregnant again (or again so soon), or something else, you’re really walking the thin line between being "funny" and being very rude.
You don’t necessarily know the reasons for why she is pregnant at this exact time; even if you do,  it’s not your place to judge. Maybe she wanted to get pregnant right away because she wanted to start sooner rather than later. Maybe she was trying for five years and “finally” got pregnant after months of heartache and disappointment. Maybe she wants to have lots of children. Maybe she got pregnant unintentionally and is struggling with anxiety.
Since you can’t know those sorts of personal details, you run the risk of really hurting or offending her, even if those weren’t your intentions.

Safer alternative: “How wonderful!” / “Congratulations!”

If all else fails, just tell her she looks wonderful and congratulate her. You can't go wrong with being kind. :)

What We Didn't Know About Tongue Ties

I did quite a bit of first-time-mom research in preparation for my daughter’s birth. I read a lot of articles and books, talked to a lot of people, and did my best to know everything I needed to know ahead of time. At the top of my baby-prep list was breastfeeding.

There was nothing I wanted more than to breastfeed my daughter. It was what I had been waiting for since before I had ever become pregnant! I wanted to be ready, and in all honesty, I was confident that I could figure it out. It was laughable to me that my OBGYN told me at seven weeks pregnant that I "probably" would be able to breastfeed, because there didn't seem to be anything inherently wrong with my breasts.

Oh, thank you,  Lady; I'm glad they're good enough to do what they were created to do in the first place.

After all, women had been breastfeeding their babies since the beginning of time. How could someone tell me that I couldn’t do it? I knew it could be very difficult. I told myself that I would push through anything that came up. I would face the hard. I would make it work, because it was too important not to.

Somehow, among all of my research, I never ran across the term “tongue tie." I had read about how to correctly latch a baby, and the different pitfalls which I might encounter, but that phrase simply never came up.

A fact that I find a little strange, as tongue ties are a fairly common problem, occurring in around 4.8 percent of babies born in the U.S. [2] This number is hard to nail down exactly, though, as many people go undiagnosed. It’s theorized that the number could actually be much higher than that.

In a normal tongue, the frenulum (the little band of tissue that connects the bottom of the tip of the tongue to the floor of the mouth) is long and thin enough that it allows movement for the tongue. A person with a tongue tie has an unusually short, thick frenulum, which restricts movement. Some people, with more severe tongue ties, can’t stick their tongues out of their mouths. Others may have trouble pronouncing certain sounds, or may have more dental problems, as the tongue can not sweep the inside of the mouth like it should.

In breastfeeding babies, tongue ties can cause problems with latching and efficiency. When a baby with a functioning tongue nurses, they use their little tongue to latch and suck. When a baby has a tongue tie, the frenulum restrains the tongue too much to effectively suck, and so the baby must resort to using her lips instead- something that is not only ineffective and exhausting for the baby, but also very painful for the mother.

Up until the 1940s, tongue ties were routinely cut after birth to help babies breastfeed easier. At the same time, breastfeeding rates went down, and because most babies were bottle fed, and mothers were not having the same problems they had with breastfeeding, the tongue tie was not considered to be a real medical problem anymore. Doctors began to consider clipping the tongue tie to be an unnecessary procedure, and even in the incidence that babies did have a tongue tie, they began to leave them unclipped. [1]

As it is now, babies born with tongue ties are often left untreated. The procedure (called a frenotomy) is usually a quick, simple procedure where they clip the frenulum. Some doctors refuse to do the surgery, because it is painful and considered by some to be unnecessary. On the flip side of the argument are those who say that, while the procedure is a little painful, the benefits of the baby being able to breastfeed and the avoidance of the long-term effects of a tongue tie outweigh the momentary pain.

Our Struggles with Breastfeeding 

Within the hour of her birth, my daughter latched and successfully.  I was ecstatic! We were doing it!

It wasn’t until my milk came in a couple of days later that I started noticing some problems. Something didn’t feel right. I didn’t know what right was, really, but I knew that, whatever it was...we didn't have it.

I would try to latch my daughter, and she would pop right off. It was like her little mouth just didn’t know how to stay on. And feeding by feeding, we both started to become more and more miserable. Feedings were not only long and frustrating, but they were becoming painful. And every time I nursed her, the pain got  more intense.

I had heard from many family members and friends that “breastfeeding just hurts,” and so I figured that something was wrong with me, and I just needed to push through it.

But it didn’t "just hurt." It wasn’t just sore or uncomfortable. It was excruciating.

It was me, sitting on our bed, sobbing while I was trying desperately to get my screaming newborn to latch on. It was me, trembling in pain when she finally did latch, and trying to convince myself to let her stay on, despite the pain, so that she would get something to eat. I remember telling my husband, “something is wrong. This can’t be how it’s supposed to be.”

Feedings lasted anywhere from one to two hours, and my daughter never seemed to be satisfied. She would only scream. I would beg with her to try.

"I know you're hungry," I would whisper to her, "I'm trying to feed you!"

I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong. She would latch on, suck for a couple of seconds, and then scream again. I read and re-read articles on how to latch a newborn, trying to troubleshoot what I could not understand.

I was exhausted and frustrated. No one told me that breastfeeding was going to be like this. It was supposed to help the baby sleep. It never did. It was supposed to help us bond. I felt further and further from her. It was supposed to soothe the baby. It only made her cry.

My mind was, as it always is, the cruelest critic.

Failure!

This is what you were supposed to do, and you can’t even do that.

Your baby needs you, and you aren’t taking care of her.

You don’t know what you’re doing!

You’re a terrible mother.

How I wish I could go back in time and tell my inner committee to sit down and shut up!

When my daughter was a week old, our midwife came by the house for our one-week check-up. When she weighed the baby, we all realized that something was wrong. Breastfed babies are expected to lose up to 10 percent of their birth weight in the first week of life. My daughter had dropped past that, losing a pound- from 6 lbs 13 oz to 5 lbs 13 oz.

This was a problem. It wasn't the way it was supposed to be.

And as we discussed what was going on with our midwife, she made a connection. My husband has a tongue tie. We didn’t know much about it- only that he had one and that he had needed speech therapy as a child. What we didn’t know is that it is often genetic- and that it often causes problems breastfeeding. In fact, in a 2002 study, it was found that around 16 percent of babies experiencing difficulty with breastfeeding had a tongue tie. [1]

Our midwife was urgent to get me to pump and bottle feed our daughter, which the poor baby drank up as if she had never been fed. I suppose, to some extent, she hadn’t- not well, at least. Not to fullness. I remember how full her tummy was, and realizing that I had never seen it like that. I remember feeling how empty I felt after pumping, and realizing that I had never felt that before! She had been trying so hard to eat.

Another wave of guilt washed over me.

"I'm so sorry," I told her as I watched her guzzle down the milk from the bottle. "I'm so, so sorry."

Our midwife sent us to The Mama’hood in Denver to see Amanda Ogden, the lactation consultant who works there. I can not say enough good things about Amanda. I can’t say enough good things about The Mama’hood. What a blessing those people were in our lives and in the life of our daughter.

Amanda confirmed what our midwife suspected. Our daughter had the exact same tongue tie that my husband has- a very small, but tight, tongue tie that was keeping her from being able to latch and suck effectively.

Amanda told me some very crucial things when we met. First of all, she assured me that, despite common belief, breastfeeding is not supposed to hurt. If it’s hurting, something is wrong. If the pain is more than uncomfortable or sore, something is wrong. If the pain is a 10+, as I was experiencing, something is wrong.

Second, there were some signs that our daughter had a tongue tie all along, which we did not know to be on the lookout for at the time.

Some of the big ones were...
-her inability to stay latched on, making her re-latch over and over
-the clicking sound she made while latched
-the severe, stabbing pain while she was latched
-the blanching (white blotches where the nerves have been damaged) of my nipples after feedings
-the distorted shape of my nipples after feedings (lipstick shaped, rather than symmetrical)
-her failure to gain weight
-my loss of milk supply

She referred us to a dentist who was well versed in clipping tongue ties, and told me to rent a pump immediately ( I only had an older hand-me-down one that was not pumping enough), because my milk supply was plummeting very quickly.

We got our daughter in for her tongue tie procedure about a week after her diagnosis. I was expecting something like a miracle, I think. I was told that some babies, after the procedure, were able to immediately nurse with no pain. Others would need more time. On some level, I didn’t expect her to need more time. As it turned out, she did. I tried to suck up the disappointment and accept that nursing would be frustrating for a little longer.

Our struggle with breastfeeding certainly didn’t end there. To help with the pain and to help her latch more effectively, Amanda gave me a nipple shield to nurse with until my daughter’s tongue tie issue was resolved. When the pain had still not subsided by two weeks after the surgery, we brought her back in to get her tongue clipped again. Sometimes the frenulum can reattach after being clipped; hers had done just that. Slowly, after her tongue was clipped the second time, her latch became stronger, and I started trying to wean her off of the nipple shield.

It was then that we came across another problem- she refused to latch to me without the nipple shield. She didn’t recognize it as something she was supposed to latch to.

With the help of Amanda and the other lactation consultants at the Mama’hood, we began helping my daughter strengthen her tongue. And very slowly, over the course of about four months, we began weaning off the nipple shield.

And, gradually, it just started happening. She latched. It didn’t hurt. It just worked.
And we stopped needing the shield. We haven’t used it since.

Why it matters

Sometimes I wonder what would happened had we been given information other than what we were given. What if our midwife had told us that I needed to supplement with formula instead? Many doctors give that advice when babies are failing to gain weight. What if I was told to stop breastfeeding because my daughter had a poor latch, or because I was not making enough milk for her? Women are often told that these problems aren't fixable.

What if we hadn’t gotten the help that we had gotten?

I know life would have gone on, as it does for many mothers who have found themselves in those very situations.

But I can say almost certainly that we would not still be nursing today. I can say that I would not have been able to work through the months of tears and frustration to feel more confident and  more bonded to my daughter in the end. I am so glad that we had (and still have) the resources like my midwife, like Amanda, and like the dentist she referred us to. I am so thankful that we made it through that very rough start and came out stronger on the other side.

My hope for new mothers is that they know that a poor latch or early breastfeeding problems do not mean that they necessarily must quit nursing! My hope is that more mothers will seek out help from lactation consultants like Amanda, and will be able to breastfeed even through the obstacles that often come up. My hope is that they will find answers, as we did, and not feel stuck in a situation which they do not want to be in.

There are absolutely situations in which mothers simply must stop breastfeeding! And there are also situations in which it simply can never happen in the first place.

But for those mothers who feel forced into quitting by medical professionals or family members, or who simply lack the resources or information to know that they have other options, my heart hurts. I know how much breastfeeding can mean to mothers. I know how much it meant (and still means) to me and to my daughter. I know that, had I been told to stop breastfeeding, I would have been devastated. I know that there are many mothers who are told that they have no options, and are left carrying guilt that isn't theirs to carry.

For those mamas out there who understand that feeling, and who value breastfeeding the way that I do, I want to encourage you to push forward. Search out answers. And know that it is  possible to work through many of the breastfeeding challenges that many mothers are told aren't fixable. I hope that you will find answers and feel empowered by the choices you can make!

And for those mamas who have the kind of guilt that I carried around, whether from having difficulties with breastfeeding or from not being able to breastfeed, please forgive yourself (I'm speaking to myself here, too). Please don't carry around undue guilt. You don't deserve it.You are not a failure for not being able to breastfeed, in the same way that you are not a hero for being able to!

I so often thank God for giving me the ability to nurse my daughter, but I also pray that he will show me how to extend grace to myself if a time comes when I can not nurse anymore. I hope that, no matter what category you fall into, you will do the same!




[1] http://www.tonguetie.net/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2
[2] http://www.sharecare.com/health/tooth-and-mouth-disorders/rate-of-incidence-for-ankyloglossia

What You (Actually) Need When Baby Arrives

If you're anything like me (and I'm under the impression that there are a few people who are) you might find that shopping for your first child is a little overwhelming. And by "a little," I mean, "the-life-of-your-child-depends-on-your-ability-to-figure-this-out."

No pressure.

Registering for baby things was probably one of the most confusing things I had ever done (before Baby was born, of course).
It's not enough that you need to pick things out for your baby; you have to pick the right things. And there are about 500 options for each item, and 20 people who have a lot of conflicting advice to give you about each of those items.

While pregnant with my daughter, I looked up countless articles trying to desperately find a list for what I actually needed when this baby was going to arrive!
Apparently, you need a lamb with a heartbeat, and a wipe warmer, and a magical baby swing that will ensure your little one never cries, ever.

It's funny how we can convince ourselves that our luxuries are necessities!

Upon planning for our second child and getting questions from some expectant mamas, I came up with a condensed list of what I found to be the bare necessities to have available when baby arrives. This isn't totally comprehensive- you'll also need a crib, eventually, and some toys, books, and other things.
But when baby first arrives, you just need the essentials to get by. You can fill in the holes later.

And so, in hopes that this will give some direction to any mamas-to-be lost somewhere in the five isles of pack-n-plays, here is my list of what you really need when baby arrives.

Big-ticket items

Baby Wrap

One of my favorite baby accessories was my baby wrap. Oh, how many screaming fits and needy moments that thing got us through! Although it was wonderful for the early newborn days to be able to have Baby Girl on my body all the time, it has continued to be great even now, a year later. I absolutely consider this a necessity, not only for the reason that it helps the mama get things done, but more importantly that it keeps your baby close to you and on your body, which is so important to your baby’s psychological and physical health!
I got a hand-me-down Moby Wrap. I would absolutely recommend the Moby to anyone who wants a versatile, stretchy wrap that can grow with your baby. I’ve heard great things about other wraps too, so do your research and find one that fits you and your climate.
The downside to the Moby is that it is very, very hot and doesn’t breathe well, so it’s not a fun thing to wear on a walk in the summer (although I liked it so much that I did that anyway).
This article is a good overview of the different type of wraps you will see and the pros and cons of each.
Make sure you look into the safety of any wrap or carrier you get. Certain ones are not good for the baby’s back or posture. Additionally, there are good and bad ways to wear your baby, even in a great carrier. This article is a great resource for anyone wanting to know more about how to correctly support an infant’s spine.

Stroller

Even if you will be carrying baby in a wrap or carrier most of the time, you will need a stroller for certain times. You will definitely need it as the baby gets bigger, when carrying them is not quite as easy as it used to be! Our stroller was also a hand-me-down, so I don’t have a lot of advice to give about them. As far as I’m concerned, the biggest must-haves on the stroller checklist is safety, quality and portability.

Car Seat

Of course, you need a car seat. Shopping for a car seat is beyond overwhelming, but I’ve found the best resource to be nhtsa.gov . You can also take your car seat in to your local fire station, and they will let you know if it’s up to the current safety standards!

Co-sleeper/bassinet/etc...

Some people will disagree with me here, but for us, having something aside from the baby’s crib was absolutely necessary. We co-slept with our daughter for a little while, alternating between her sleeping in our bed and in the bassinet next to me, until she started having trouble sleeping in the room with us. At that point, she moved into her room very smoothly; it was the right time for her and for us.
But those first few weeks, when I was up every two hours (or more) around the clock, the last thing I wanted was to get my very sore body out of bed and walk across the apartment to go feed the baby. It was also really comforting for me to be able to hear her breathing and to be able to touch her and comfort her as soon as she stirred. Nursing was much simpler with her so close; I could read her hunger cues immediately, instead of waiting until she began crying. Babies were meant to be nearby...especially those tiny newborns! Look for something that meets your family’s needs. A hand-me-down bassinet did it for us.

Space heater

The temperature in your home needs to stay between 70 and 75 degrees at all times for your newborn for those first few weeks, so either prepare to have the thermostat that high, or just heat wherever the baby is with a space heater. I recommend one that has an accurate temperature gauge. Our apartment was poorly heated, so we brought a space heater into our bedroom and kept the temperature high for our daughter. The downside to this is that while your baby needs it nice and toasty, you will be experiencing some lovely postpartum hot flashes. Oh, the sacrifices. 

Nursing Essentials

Breast Pump

Before I had my daughter, I thought that a breast pump was more of a luxury than a necessity. As it turned out, it was an absolute necessity for my daughter and I, as she had a tongue-tie and was not able to latch for the first couple of weeks. I was exclusively pumping for a while, until the issue was resolved, so the pump suddenly became a must-have! Even without our unique situation, though, the pump has been something I’ve needed along the way. Date nights wouldn’t have happened without it!
In my opinion, a double electric Medela is the way to go. Medela makes some great pumps that mimic the way a baby actually latches, which helps pumping go smoother. A pump is a big investment, but it is something that is worth investing in, if you can put the money towards it.

Note after baby #2: I got a single electric Medela and do NOT recommend it. It took forever, had a bad latch, malfunctioned many times, and was hard to let down to.

Bottles

Bottle shopping is overwhelming.
“Pick this bottle! It’s recommended by a doctor!”
“No, this one! It’s shaped like a boob!”
“You have to pick this one! It will make your baby a genius!”
I mean, really.
I think registering for bottles was one of my least favorite parts of the whole baby-shopping experience. When it came down to it, we ended up getting Tommy Tippee for our daughter, only to realize later on that it was the wrong fit for her. Tommy Tippee bottles are are great later, when the baby can handle a stronger flow. But even their smallest “slow-flow” nipple is too fast for a newborn.
This is a common problem with bottle-fed babies- the baby chugs the milk (because the milk is flowing so fast- it’s either drink or drown), causing them to be too full and become very fussy. This, in turn, can cause parents to think that baby is not getting enough, to feed them more, and so the overfeeding cycle begins.
Our tiny little 6 pounder guzzled 5 ounces of pumped breast milk from the Tommy Tippee bottle! As it turned out, she wasn’t needing nearly that much- and she certainly wasn’t needing more! What she needed was a slower flowing nipple, so that she could control how much she was getting, causing her to drink slower and regulate how much she actually got. This prevents overfeeding.
The bottle my lactation consultant recommended, and I now highly recommend, is the Evenflo Vent-Air. It has a slow-flow nipple that is ideal for newborns. You don’t need to buy different nipples for different ages.
For the record, your nipples don’t change as the baby gets older. Your baby’s bottles don’t need to do that either!
The amount of bottles you need is entirely up to your own personal needs. We did fine with one bottle. Two would have been nice, and more would be necessary if you need to exclusively bottle feed for any length of time.

Breast milk storage bags

I liked Lansinoh here, but there are plenty of good brands. Of course, the amount of these will depend on how much you will be pumping.

Pacifiers

You may or may not need a pacifier, but it’s nice to have a couple around just in case. Our daughter took one for the first few months, then refused it until she was around 8 months old, and then took it again. She was very particular about which kinds she liked. Right now, she loves the gummy pacis. I would recommend, if you do plan to introduce a pacifier, to have a couple different types available, because each baby has their own preference, and you won’t really know what that is until you try them out!

TONS of spit up rags

Tons.
You will think you have enough, and then you will find yourself wondering why you only bought  a thousand of them.  
What were you thinking??
We just got a bunch of packs of Gerber cloth diapers- the basic white ones from Target- and used those. You can use whatever, but you'll use them around the clock with a newborn, so have them on hand.
The nice thing about these is that it really doesn’t matter how cheap they are. As long as they’re soft enough to use on newborn skin (i.e. not kitchen rags), they’ll work. They don’t need to be super trendy or fuzzy, and they don’t need to match your baby’s designer booties. In fact, I really don’t advise getting cute ones at all, because they’ll probably end up stained in orange poop at one time or another. It’s just bound to happen.

Boppy or other nursing pillow

Nursing is really clumsy at first. You’re trying to juggle this floppy little newborn in one hand while trying to unclasp your nursing bra with the other and pull your breast out before the little one gets too impatient, and things are just messy. It gets easier later- I promise!
And at some point, you won’t really need a pillow. But in those first nursing months, you’re going to need something to support your arms and baby while you’re figuring things out. It also helps you not hunch over so badly, I found, because the baby is sitting closer to you and you don’t need to strain.
I really like my Boppy, but I know there are also some other great nursing pillows out there. Find one you like, and don’t forget to get a couple of covers, because these, too, will be subject to an assortment of bodily fluids -both from your darling baby and from your new leaky boobs. Awesome.


Nursing Pads

 Speaking of leaky boobs, I somehow missed the heads-up that getting my milk in would turn me into a human Niagara Falls. Not everyone has such an abundant oversupply of milk, so you may not have the issue of leaking at all times, day and night. But you will almost certainly leak while you are nursing in the very beginning- because when the babe latches to one side, the other side gets going too. So you’ll need some good nursing pads to help yourself out.
This doesn’t last the entire time you are nursing, but it does last for at least a couple of months. For me, it lasted about four months. I went through a lot of nursing pads.
I recommend Lansinoh for these too, as they pull the milk away from your skin, which helps prevent clogged pores. If you can get the big pack, do it. It may take you a couple of weeks to go through it, like me, or it may last your entire “leaky boob” phase. Either way, it’s a better deal.

Nursing Bra

The most important thing about shopping for your nursing bra is making sure that it will stretch and shrink very easily, because while your breasts are still adjusting to the amount of milk your baby needs, you will be changing sizes dramatically every few hours. Every time your milk lets down, you will fill out your bra more than you ever dreamed (sounds great, but not as exciting as I imagined it to be), and every time your baby eats, you will drain and have no integrity left in the poor things. This evens out eventually too, after months of nursing. But for the first few months, you definitely want to get one or two very stretchy, comfortable (wireless, I advise) nursing bras that will hold up to the abuse they will surely endure. I got one at Target for around $15, and it lasted the journey.

Nursing shirts/camis

You would think that it would be simple enough to have a nursing bra, but you’re really going to want a couple of nursing tops, too. You could just use open-front or low-cut shirts, but I found that I either had to expose my post-partum belly to the world (which I was not happy to do), or I ended up stretching out and ruining the neckline to my shirts. Nursing shirts either have stretchy necklines made for opening, or clasps like nursing bras. I would recommend getting something you can wear around the house or out and about- like a couple of basic nursing camisoles that you can layer with a cardigan for going out. I got mine at Target, but I know Old Navy has some cheap options, too.

Changing Essentials

 

Something to change baby on for your room

You're going to have so many middle-of-the-night changings in the beginning, you'll start to wonder how this tiny child could possibly produce so much poop and pee.
So it's nice to have a pad to put down, so you don't have to leave your room. We had a hand-me-down portable changing table pad that worked well for us. You could also just move the nursery changing table into your room for the time being. It’s better than using your bed- trust me.

Diaper pail
You do need a diaper pail. You may get by for a little while without one, so if you must wait, you can. But the beauty of the diaper pail is that, with it, those stinky little diapers won't require you to take out the trash twice a day. This will be more of a necessity later on, rather than right away, but it will be a necessity. We liked the Diaper Dekor; I know it's not the only good one out there, though, so look around and see what fits your needs best.

LOTS of diapers

You will likely go through 15-20 diapers a day for a few weeks, so stock up. Newborns pee and poop around the clock! Some more than others.
We wanted to do cloth diapers, but found it too exhausting for that first time period. We didn’t have the energy, honestly, and our daughter was so tiny that we really needed smaller diapers for her, which we couldn’t afford to go buy. So we went with disposable until she got a little bigger and started pooping less than 17 times a day.
We had gotten Seventh Generation diapers for her (as we wanted to have all-natural diapers), and realized that they, too, were too big for her tiny body! So we used Huggies Newborn diapers until she could fit into the Seventh Generation better- for some reason, they are a little smaller and fit much more snugly.

LOTS of wipes

The key to wipes is to have the most gentle (and natural!) option available. Newborn skin is ridiculously sensitive, so the more gentle the wipes, the better. You can make your own wipes from baby wash and coconut oil, if you want, which we did later on down the road (great tutorial here). We used Seventh Generation in the beginning, and I really love them. We never had any breakouts or rashes from any of Seventh Generation’s products.

Baby Care

Unrefined Extra virgin coconut oil

You can use this for practically anything- cradle cap, baby acne, dry newborn skin, lotion, cracked nipples, diaper rash, other rashes, low SPF sunscreen, etc...
Really, this stuff is only second to breast milk in its magical properties.
Just make sure you’re getting the good stuff. Refined coconut oil will not work. The higher quality, the better. It is expensive, but completely worth the investment.

Really gentle shampoo

I also love Seventh Generation’s baby wash. You don't really need to do much but water off baby’s head and bum for a few weeks, but when you do need to give them a bath, this is nice to have around. One bottle of Seventh Generation baby wash lasted us a little under a year.

Baby bath

I didn’t think a baby bath was a necessity, so I didn’t even register for one! Thankfully,  someone gave us one at our baby shower, and I am so glad they did. As our daughter grew older, we stopped using it, but it was such a help during the floppy days, when you really need as much help as you can get while trying to wash your little wiggly one. The mesh recliner was so helpful to me, because I could let her lay on that while I used both hands to wash her, instead of having to hold her with one hand and juggle the bath things with the other.

Note after baby #2: the mesh recliner came in handy again when bathing both kids in one tub- baby on the recliner and toddler next to her. Bonus!

Thermometer

It's good in the first few days of baby's life to routinely check their temperature. You will need to know their own unique base body temperature so that you can catch a problem early. A rectal thermometer is most accurate. I still get a little jittery about those, but if you can handle them fine, that's the best option!

Clothes

Onesies

The amount of onesies you need will very much depend on your situation- especially your climate and what season your baby will be born during. I would say to aim for 6-8 onesies in whatever style (long-sleeved, short sleeved, etc) fits your situation best. Remember that newborns grow fast, so I wouldn’t invest in a ton of newborn clothes. Basics are really helpful, but you probably won’t go through even half of the “specialty” clothes before the baby has grown too large for them!

Jammies

Button down jammies got to be a real headache in the middle of the night, so I really wouldn’t recommend those. We had a couple of zipper sets that we liked more, but I also heard a recommendation today for the nightgowns with elastic at the bottom, which sounds like a great idea to me! I think I’ll get a few for our next little one and see how we like those!

Note: Open bottomed nightgowns it is. Only buy these, and never look back.

Socks

They wont stay on. It's good to have, though, to keep them warm. Target carries a kind that is really stretchy and fuzzy, and those have been the most successful in staying on those tiny feet.

Hats

You don’t need many hats, but one or two is a good thing to have around, especially if you have a cold weather babe!

Blankets

There are so many different kinds of blankets, and I don’t really believe there’s a “perfect” one out there! Some babies love being swaddled, so swaddling blankets work wonderfully for them. My daughter, on the other hand, hated being swaddled. We used receiving blankets and other soft blankets to gently wrap her up. Be forewarned, though, that you will need several of each kind, because there will be poop, and there will be spit-up, and there will be plenty of it. I would get five to ten blankets to be comfortable, but no less than three. Unless you like re-doing the same laundry every day, I suppose.

Note after baby #2: Second Child loved to be swaddled, and we LOVED muslin swaddling blankets for her. They are very stretchy and hold baby in tight, but don't overheat easily. You can spend a bunch of money and get the name-brand ones, but I got some from an Etsy shop for MUCH cheaper, and I loved them!



Do you have any recommendations for things you couldn't have gone without for your newborn? Leave a comment and let me know!