Christianity and Breastfeeding: Are We Getting It Wrong?

photo by Kelsey Gossett

Breastfeeding is a touchy subject.
I didn’t realize this until I became a mother and began breastfeeding my girl. What a range of ideas you can run into when talking about breastfeeding! And how easily arguments and disagreements can arise when it is brought up!

For as many people that love breastfeeding and don’t have any problems with it, it seems that there are just as many who have some pretty strong opinions against it.

“Breastfeeding is fine for babies, but it’s just weird once they can ask for it.”

“Breastfeeding is a private thing; it should be done behind closed doors.”

“Men/children shouldn’t be subjected to seeing a woman breastfeeding.”

“It’s gross/unnatural to breastfeed a child past [some specific age].”

You’ve heard those statements, haven’t you? I know I have.

But what bothers me is this: I have heard these things from fellow Christians. I’ve seen them on Christian blogs, from Christians on Facebook, and from Christians in person.

And over the last year, as I’ve breastfed, read and educated myself, and spent countless time thinking it over, I’ve really begun to see breastfeeding as an issue that Christians should support, not oppose. I’ve begun to see breastfeeding in the light of the Bible, and in the way that I believe God intended for it to be seen.

My goal in writing this is not to advocate that “breast is best.” Yes, I am a firm supporter of breastfeeding! But there are countless other resources where you can read up on the benefits, if you’re unsure. (Some great articles here, here and here )

Likewise, my goal is not to say that all Christians should breastfeed, or that a Christian who does not breastfeed should feel guilty. Of course, mothers choose not to breastfeed for a variety of personal reasons that are, really, not mine to judge! I would not want a mother to feel as if she was going against God if she were not to breastfeed. I do not believe that is the case.

What I would like to do is propose a question to those Christians who feel uncomfortable with or who oppose breastfeeding. Those Christians who feel that breastfeeding is weird, wrong, or even a little embarrassing- that it’s something that should be done in the privacy of your own home (if at all). Those Christians who are offended by a mother breastfeeding a child in public, or who steer clear of the mom who says she still breastfeeds her three year old. 
For those Christians who fall into this mindset, I would like to propose an idea.

What if God intended breastfeeding to be beautiful, not strange?

What if, by accepting the idea that there is something inherently private about breastfeeding, we are accepting the world‘s message about our bodies, and denying God’s?

And most importantly, if God loves breastfeeding, why would we have an issue with it?

photo by Kelsey Gossett

God’s Message About Breastfeeding

Mentioned upwards of sixteen different times in the Bible, God gives a beautiful picture of breastfeeding. I think it’s much more important to note the way the Bible presents breastfeeding rather than to argue why it appears there.

Of course, during these times, breastfeeding was really the only available method for feeding a baby, before safe or viable alternatives existed. But the Bible doesn’t present breastfeeding as just a mundane, necessary part of life. Instead, the picture that God gives us of breastfeeding is one of purity and beauty. It is used in context with healing, fulfillment and connection.

Isaiah 66:10-11
10 Rejoice with Jerusalem and be glad for her,
    all you who love her;
rejoice greatly with her,
    all you who mourn over her.
11 For you will nurse and be satisfied
    at her comforting breasts;
you will drink deeply
    and delight in her overflowing abundance.

Psalms 22:9-10

9 Yet you brought me out of the womb;

   you made me trust in you, even at my mother’s breast.

10 From birth I was cast on you;

   from my mother’s womb you have been my God.

Breastfeeding is listed among other blessings, giving us that it is considered a blessing not only to have children, but to be able to nourish them in this way.

Genesis 49:25

25 because of your father’s God, who helps you,
    because of the Almighty, who blesses you
with blessings of the skies above,
    blessings of the deep springs below,
    blessings of the breast and womb.

And, conversely, the inability to nurse is considered to be a curse.

Hosea 9:14

14 Give them, Lord—

    what will you give them?

Give them wombs that miscarry

    and breasts that are dry.

It’s even used for an analogy for purity of living, comparing the nourishment of our spirits to the nourishment babies receive while nursing. What a significant comparison!

1 Peter 2:2-3
2 Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, 3 now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.

Again and again, the Bible uses this type of language to paint a picture of the breastfeeding relationship between mother and child. This picture is one of a natural, beautiful interaction which gives nourishment to the child and provides him a loving connection to his mother.

On that note, it’s important to remember who else would have been breastfed. If you haven't seen the bumper sticker already, I'll clue you in: Jesus.

Luke 11:27
27 As Jesus was saying these things, a woman in the crowd called out, “Blessed is the mother who gave you birth and nursed you."

Aside from this verse, we can gather that Jesus was breastfed due to historical context. It was customary for Hebrew babies at this time to be breastfed by their mothers. More interestingly, I think, is that the children were weaned well into toddlerhood; most accounts agree that the weaning age fell somewhere between three and four years old. [3]

So let’s think about that for a second.
Not only was Jesus Christ a breastfed babe; he was a breastfed toddler, too.
That means he was “old enough to ask for it.”

Now, if that makes you uncomfortable, take a second to ask yourself a very important question: why?

If Jesus breastfed, not just as a newborn, but as a walking, talking toddler too, what does that tell us about God’s perspective of breastfeeding? I’d venture to say that it certainly does not make him cringe or feel uneasy.
Would you allow your small child to do something that you found unnatural or wrong? Of course not! Why then would God allow his Son to be breastfed, if he felt there was something inherently wrong about it? Would he not want the best for his Son? 

If breastfeeding is pure and good for the Son of God, certainly it is good enough for our children as well.

God not only created breastfeeding; he sees it as something to be loved and cherished! And as we know that God is unchanging, we know that the way he viewed breastfeeding so long ago is still the way he views it today.

So why, then, does it make people uncomfortable?

photo by Kelsey Gossett

Our Culture’s Message About Breastfeeding

It’s hard to see outside the scope of our own culture, but breastfeeding isn’t viewed negatively worldwide. It’s in our Western culture that we see the over sexualization  of breasts seeping into society’s view of breastfeeding. It’s in our culture that we accept the idea that breasts are, simply put, playthings.
Breasts are for the bedroom. Breasts are for sex. Breasts are for men.

Does that bother you?
It should. It certainly bothers me.

But think about it.

Why would it be acceptable for a woman to wear a low cut or barely-there top, revealing most of her breasts but the nipple, but not acceptable for a mother to have a baby latched onto her in public, covering at least the same amount, if not more, skin?

Why would it be expected to see a larger-than-life image of a woman donned in only her bra and underwear on a Victoria’s Secret advertisement in the mall, but shocking to see an image of a mother’s breast in her child’s mouth?

Why would it be okay for a woman to walk around the beach in a dental floss bikini, but weird if she were to sit down and nurse her child?

We have bought into the message in America that breasts are only sexual, and have no place outside of sex. And how naturally uncomfortable, then, is it to mix something sexual with something innocent, such as feeding a child! If you accept the idea that breasts are only sexual, you likely would feel unnerved by introducing a child to that picture. We know, naturally, that children should not be intertwined with sexuality.

And so, when a woman is nursing, whether baby or toddler, those comments and thoughts arise.

"That’s unnatural."

"That’s gross."

"That’s weird."

"Can’t she hide that?"

"I don’t want to have to see that."

The shaming message is loud and clear: keep those breasts where they belong- in the bedroom.

So how did this happen? Where did the breast obsession begin?

A cycle began in the late 1800s to early 1900s with a decline in breastfeeding, due to many factors, including the introduction of and increasing demand for artificial milk and the need for more women in the workforce. [1]  Less women breastfeeding caused there to be less exposure to breasts in a non-sexual context, which then encouraged an even further decline in breastfeeding, and so on.

As breastfeeding in public (and in private) became less and less common, the next generations were raised with little to no knowledge of breasts in their functional context. A generation of children were raised only to know breasts in a sexual way, and were not exposed to them outside of this context as previous generations and other cultures had been. Instead of growing up seeing breasts in a non-sexual context, as children usually would when being exposed to family and friends breastfeeding their babies, children were sheltered from this natural part of child-rearing.

And so, as the function of breasts was isolated to be singularly sexual, the over-sexualization of breasts began snowballing. I really love this explanation of how this cycle plays out psychologically in children.

“...weaned toddlers and babies are still interested in breasts and want to touch them. Unfortunately, many times the mother feels uneasy about it and maybe thinks it is "indecent" or "perverted" behavior....The child is probably taught that touching naked breasts is BAD, it is a "NO-NO". Now, if the mother never lets her children see bare breasts, it is no wonder that the child develops a curiosity towards breasts. The child stars thinking, "What is it about them? Wonder what they look like? Why do they keep them hidden?"...On top of that, the media presents breasts not only as forbidden but something exciting and sexual, which starts arousing sexual feelings especially in boys...It all starts when you take the breast away from the child and then make seeing breasts a forbidden no-no for the rest of the child's growing period. The end result is a distorted view of female breasts.” [2]

As one generation was taught that breasts were only sexual, they taught the next to idolize and obsess over them even more. They, then, passed this idea to the next generation, and so the cycle continued.

When breasts are seen regularly in a non-sexual context, like breastfeeding, society becomes accustomed to seeing them in that way. Women are not offended by seeing another woman feed her child, nor are children scarred by it, nor are men aroused by it. It is simply a part of life, because of the regular exposure to it in a non-sexual way.

But when children are raised with only a sexual knowledge of breasts, and generation after generation is raised with no exposure to them in their natural, functional context, they increasingly become a forbidden fruit. They become sexual and only sexual.

It’s here, then, that we have arrived with a culture that idolizes and obsesses over breasts, and rejects the idea of their functional use.

With this in mind, it’s also important to not deny the sexual quality of breasts altogether. It’s not the sexualization of breasts that is the problem; it’s the over sexualization that becomes the issue, as a woman’s breasts are both meant to nourish a baby and to be sexually appealing!
If we look at the Bible, we find several references to the sexuality of breasts. Given, the references are far fewer than those about breastfeeding, but they still appear.

Proverbs 5:18-19
18  May your fountain be blessed,
    and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
19 A loving doe, a graceful deer—
    may her breasts satisfy you always,
    may you ever be intoxicated with her love.

Song of Solomon 4:1-7
4 How beautiful you are, my darling!
 
    Oh, how beautiful!

    Your eyes behind your veil are doves.

Your hair is like a flock of goats

    descending from the hills of Gilead.

2 Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn,

    coming up from the washing.

Each has its twin;

    not one of them is alone.

3 Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon;

    your mouth is lovely.

Your temples behind your veil

    are like the halves of a pomegranate.

4 Your neck is like the tower of David,

    built with courses of stone;

on it hang a thousand shields,

    all of them shields of warriors.

5 Your breasts are like two fawns,

    like twin fawns of a gazelle

    that browse among the lilies.

6 Until the day breaks

    and the shadows flee,

I will go to the mountain of myrrh

    and to the hill of incense.

7 You are altogether beautiful, my darling;

    there is no flaw in you.

Song of Solomon 7:7-9
6 How beautiful you are and how pleasing,
    my love, with your delights!
7 Your stature is like that of the palm,
    and your breasts like clusters of fruit.
8 I said, “I will climb the palm tree;
    I will take hold of its fruit.”
May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine,
    the fragrance of your breath like apples,
9     and your mouth like the best wine.

The Bible certainly does not deny the sexuality of breasts; but what it does say about them is important. Never are the breasts sexualized in a way that they become the focal point of the woman or her sexuality. Notice that every mention of the woman’s breasts is included in a list of the other beauty she holds. The breasts are sexual because the woman was made to be sexual; the breasts are beautiful because God created the woman to be beautiful. And he created her to be beautiful as a whole.

Her breasts are sexual, yes, but as is her neck, her mouth and her back. How absurd would it be for us to deny the functionality of another body part? What if we only accepted the mouth as a sexual function, and felt unnerved by the sight of a person eating or drinking?

"Ma'am, please, do that at home, would you?"

"For heaven's sake, there are children here! The indecency!" 

It’s almost laughable, really. But how different is the situation in which we find ourselves viewing breasts in our culture? We accept the sexuality of breasts but reject their functionality. We allow them to be seen in a sexual context, but are offended by them in the context of breastfeeding.

The woman’s breasts were never meant to be a sexual obsession, or to be over sexualized to the point of denying their other purpose- the pure, healthy and blameless nourishment of her children.

What freedom God gives us in creating us, as women, to be both sexual and maternal! We are not bound to one or the other- we are made to love and be loved, to be nurturing and to be admired. I find such encouragement in that identity!

Whose message do we believe?

So if we compare God’s message about breastfeeding to our culture’s, we begin to see some very conflicting ideas.

God says:
Breastfeeding is beautiful, purposeful, natural, normal, pure, fulfilling, and wonderful. 

Our culture says:
Breastfeeding is embarrassing, uncomfortable, indecent, shameful, and something to be done in private.

And if we compare God’s message about the sexuality of breasts to our culture’s, we also see quite a contrast.

God says:
Breasts are both sexual and functional- for sexual pleasure and for breastfeeding. Breasts are beautiful because the woman is beautiful- desirable because I made her desirable.

Our culture says:
Breasts are made for sex only; they are made to be looked at and used for pleasure. 

So then, where do our ideas about breastfeeding line up with these messages? Whose message do we accept?

When we say that breastfeeding should be kept private, that a nursing mother needs to cover up, or that it’s unnatural for a woman to breastfeed a toddler, what message does that agree with?

If God says breastfeeding is good, pure and free from sexuality, does it make sense that it should make us feel ashamed or uncomfortable? Does it make sense that we should want it to be hidden from our children or our husbands?

If God says breasts were made for nourishment and for sexuality, does it make sense that we should feel averted to one or the other? Does it make sense that we should believe that they are only good for one purpose?

Whose message are you accepting? 

If not God’s, why not? 

photo by Kelsey Gossett

Sources:
[1] http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2684040/ 
[2]  http://www.007b.com/breast_obsession.php
[3] http://biblehub.com/topical/w/wean.htm